The TV Nazis

I was surfing around and found a site for a group called The Parents Television Council. www.parentstv.org .These people, it turns out, are the ones who accounted for 95% of all complaints to the FCC regarding Janet Jackson's breast. I don't have TIVO, so I didn't catch it.

The way this group works is you visit the website and they tell you which shows to complain about. They will even provide you with a letter to copy and paste or print out so you can sign it and send it in. Most of the complainants, therefore, have never even watched the shows they are all up in arms about.

They are complaining for the sake of complaining. Their current target? CSI. There is a banner at the top of their site that changes every second or two. First it says "The Parents Television Council. Over a million members strong." Then it switches: "PTC Members File over 12K FCC Indecency Complaints Against CSI." And finally: "VICTORY. House Votes to Increase Indecency Fines."

This group's next objective is to control cable television and make the rules for decency on all of those channels. HBO would be their main target. Anything resembling real interaction between people would be eliminated and replaced with shows featuring talking puppies and Leave it to Beaver-type families. Except you can't call anyone Beaver anymore. The Sopranos and Sex in the City would be gone for good. South Park? Forget about it.

Here are the top 10 most offensive shows according to the PTC website:
1. Everwood. (Never-would have heard of it)
2. That 70s Show. The PTC goons rated it number two because of it's "casual and irresponsible treatment of teen sex and drug use." Give me an effin break. That kind of comment makes me want to light up a fattie and go get laid.
3. Fear Factor. Because it "continues to push the envelope with its disgusting and physically dangerous stunts." Sounds like fun.
4. Two and a Half Men. Too much sexual inuendo and a bad example of parenting. But I'll bet it's damn funny.
5. C.S.I. (Crime Scene Investigation). Too many grisly scenes of murder, etc. Flashbacks that are real looking, etc. One of my favorites of all time.
6. The Surreal Life. A bunch of has-been celebrities live in a house together to get free publicity. It's a W.B. show, so what does anyone expect?
7. Girlfriends. Has words like "vagina" and "yeast infection" and "orgasm" in the dialogue.
8. Las Vegas. Vegas. Sin City. Sodom and Gomorrah. Say no more. Another one of my favorites.
9. Will and Grace. Did you think you homosexuals could hide from the PTC? No way! We will find you all and string you up and light a fire under you, and.... Wow! I got a little carried away pretending to be a TV Nazi. Sorry.
10. Cold Case. Deals with unsolved murder cases. The PTC would probably replace it with Andy Griffith re-runs if they could. "Hey, it's still a cop show. Right?"

To give you a taste of what they really like I'll run down the top 10 "Family Friendly" Shows: Joan of Arcadia, Doc, Sue Thomas F.B. Eye, Reba, 7th Heaven, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Everybody Loves Raymond, American Idol, American Dreams, and Bernie Mac. Some of these shows are good, while others are so sugary sweet my diabetic mom wouldn't be allowed to watch them.

The group isn't without its moments of sanity though. The president and founder of PTC, Brent Bozell, wrote that Saving Private Ryan wasn't indecent because "Context is everything." He went on to explain: "We agreed with the FCC on its ruling that the airing of 'Schindler's List' on television was not indecent and we feel that 'Saving Private Ryan' is in the same category. In both films, the content is not meant to shock, nor is it gratuitous. We applaud ABC for letting viewers know ahead of time about the graphic nature of the film and that the film would be uncut." Saving Private Ryan was shown for several years in a row with no problems.

The fact of the matter is they don't want to butt heads with Spielberg. PTC may have clout, but in the entertainment industry Spielberg is God. When those movies were aired, Spielberg stipulated that there could be no editing and there could be no commercials. Period. Still, more than half of the stations set to air Private Ryan pulled the movie at the last minute for fear of having to pay unnecessary fines levied against them by the likes of then-FCC Czar, Michael Powell (son of Colin). And that fear was based on the clout the PTC has in the halls of Congress. (Their site even shows you how your congressman voted.)

As long as this current administration is in charge, you might want to start taping episodes of C.S.I. and other favorites before they are yanked from the air or censored down to nothing. In one half of the world profanity on television is acceptable. Nudity also happens after a certain hour in many countries. In other parts of the world an on-screen kiss will get you killed. The U.S. happens to be somewhere in the middle. But not for long.

Go to the website and look at how it's run. I don't think the Nazi machine was as organized as this when they went out and burned books and exterminated a race of people. But the idea behind both was the same: Freedom of speech only when it agrees with their ultra-conservative values.

http://www.parentstv.org/